Bad day

So many toxic people. So many issues. Unnecessary issues. My heart is breaking right now. I'm trying to keep it together.

wow, more than a month...

i last wrote on april 8. although i've been away from the blog, i haven't given up.

i joined a gym on april 15 and have regularly worked out for an hour and a half almost every day. i'm proud of myself.

i haven't lost a great deal of weight, yet... which is okay because i want to stick to the program and go slow rather than bust my ass and then give up, disillusioned for not being able to see quick results.

i am, however, finding it hard to control my diet. i dont count calories and i dont keep a food journal. i'm tempted to try slim fast but i'm afraid of starvation diets. hmm.

Back on track..

Exercised for 45 minutes yesterday using the bike. Ate small portions.

Woke up at 5:30 a.m. and exercised to Billy Blanks' video along with my husband. The workout's tough so we lasted only 20 minutes. After that, I used the bike for 30 minutes.

Breakfast: tea and two slices of pizza. I know it doesn't sound too good but..
Brunch: Protein bar.
Lunch: Small bowl of chicken and potatoes.
Snack: Half a banana.
Dinner: Small bowl of chicken and rice.

Struggling..

Trying to hang on. I'm watching what I'm eating but I haven't exercised at all. I had strawberries for breakfast, couscous for lunch, tangerines for snack, and half a bowl of manicotti for dinner. The baby didn't sleep much today so I couldn't exercise. Maybe I should use the bike for half an hour at least. I will feel better. I don't want to give up.

Off the wagon..

Family visit. Party. Bye-bye, bandwagon.

Trying to redeem myself. It will be hard getting back on track. But I'm willing to try again.

interesting day....

woke up and had a banana. then had a bowl of soup and a baguette. the soup was 100 calories. not bad and very filling.

lunch: had half a roti, 1/3 baguette and a small plate of butter chicken.

snack: a cup of apricot meetha.

dinner: 5 Tbsp rice, 2 Tbsp butter chicken, 4 Tbsp sauteed meat.

no formal exercise except a walk around the neighborhood holding my daughter in my arms and running errands for 2 hours prior to that. i'm tempted to sit on the bike and pedal away but a) i'm sleepy, 2) i'm too full.

i'm mysteriously feeling very full easily these days. maybe my stomach's shrinking! it's amazing how little our body needs to get by. still, we overeat.

today, i celebrated a little accomplishment: my diet/exercise routine is 26 days old. i've never stuck to anything for this long. it's worth tipping the hat for!

Derailed.. almost

I was 100% sure I would get derailed today and fall into pieces. I had cereal for breakfast and then followed my kid around. She was particularly difficult today. I picked things up, she threw them around again. I stowed clothes into drawers, she pulled them out. I threw things into the garbage, she put her hand into the garbage and.. you get the picture?

By 12 p.m., I was finished... and not even half a day had gone by. What to do? I gave my baby a bath and warm milk and then hoped she would sleep for a while and I would sit on the bike. My baby didn't sleep till 1 p.m. When she finally did, I realized I had to make a few important calls. I did those and then felt like collapsing on the bed. I decided to go online for a few. I came across an article that focused on women who had lost a lot of weight. I read the first story: this lady had tried everything imaginable and couldn't stick to it. One day, she was staring at her plate. It was piled high with spaghetti. She began to cry. That's when she decided enough was enough.

I felt motivated. I didn't bother reading the rest of it. Instead, I sat on the bike.

20 minutes later, my baby woke up and came sat on my lap. I pedalled for another minute. She decided she didn't want my lap, and preferred to touch the pedal instead. I wouldn't allow that! I begged with her, distracted her, tried to get her attention with the phone. Nothing worked. I tried pedalling another 10 minutes somehow or the other, and then gave up.

I had a plate-full of butter chicken with 1 1/2 roti and thought that was the end of my regimen.

An hour later, we went to the park to take part in the easter egg hunt. That was fun.. and what a glorious day it was!

My friend, who has lost a lot of weight recently, was there too. Her smallest pair of jeans was slipping around her waist. I got motivated again.

After returning home, I took my baby out for a 20 minute walk. But I still wasn't satisfied. At 9 p.m. I popped a movie into the dvd player and sat on the bike for 60 minutes. So all in all, I had a great 90 minute work out and felt good! Rewarded myself with a paratha and a half and a small serving of chicken and potatoes, followed by half a cup of apricot meetha.

!!!